Saturday, December 31, 2011

Slap Your Way to Larger Breasts


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35 year old Bangkok, Thailand beautician Khemmika Na Songkhla also known as Khunying Tobnom claims to be able to enlarge your breasts without surgery—by slapping them. Her grandmother mocked her for wasting time rubbing her nipples with a miracle cream when she was in her early teens in hopes of sprouting big breasts. Her grandmother then advised her to rub them till they hurt and repeatedly push fat from her sides and abdomen towards her chest, and then douse the breasts with ice water. She claims that by following her grandmother's advice she boosted her breast size by 4inches and her confidence soared. Ms Khemmikka says that by using this non-surgical technique (squeezing, pinching and slapping fat and muscle on the upper chest, the sides of the torso, and the belly of clients with cream or gel for an hour over six 10-minute sessions for a total cost of $380) she has enlarged the breasts up to 4 inches in thousands of Thai women over the past 14 years without injections, chemicals or implants. After the treatment Khemmika instructs her customers in special exercise techniques and massage to keep their breasts in shape.

Her customers come from a wide range of backgrounds, ages and professions including college girls in their early 20s, a 70-year-old retiree, models, actresses and politicians. “These women once had chicken-egg size breasts. After the course, they have become ostrich egg size,” she says. She turns down customers who are too skinny or do not have much fat on their upper chest or sides of their torso and advises them to gain weight before returning.

She claims that she does not need to advertise as she is living proof of the procedure but a billboard in front of her house-cum-clinic in a suburb of Bangkok reads “beat small busts to be big.” She has been pursuing a patent for her grandmother’s secret fat-kneading technique.

A distraught client claimed that her breast cancer was caused by the slapping technique so Ms Khemmikka asked the Health Ministry to investigate the allegation. The ministry then launched a six -month study on volunteers aged 20 to 60, and found vigorous massage left their breasts cancer-free and measurably bigger or should I say swollen.

Dr. Pennapa Subcharoen, head of the Public Health Ministry’s Thai traditional medicine institute, said Khemmika’s methods were equivalent to the exercises used by body builders. “It is like men going to a gym to build specific parts of their bodies by lifting weights with that part”. I personally do not see the connection and have never seen anyone in the gym slapping themselves to get bigger muscles. Despite that the technique was approved by Thailand's government health board in 2003 as a natural alternative to surgery.

Khemmika also records her clients’ original breast sizes before their treatments, then records their new sizes after the treatments, and lo and behold, a woman with a 30-inch bust should end up with a 32-inch bust by the end of it all. Two whole inches? Wow.

Breast slapping can be relaxing, stimulating and painful. Khemmika’s clients say it hurts.

Interestingly, slapping isn’t just for breasts, either. Khemmika offers slapping treatments for the whole body, including faces. Khemmika considers slapping to be valuable knowledge—she learned it from her grandmother, and apparently no one else in the world knows how to do it but she can teach you how to do it. The application process for enrollment in the classes is lengthy, and the prices of the classes themselves are high: $330,000 for body-sculpting; $260,000 for breast-slapping; and $165,000 for face-slapping. She’s had 40 applicants for these classes, but so far she’s only accepted 4 of them.

Go book your ticket to Thailand now!

January, 25, 2012 Addendum:
The Wachbataillon unit of the German army performs precision military drills at official ceremonial functions. Many of these drills involve smacking rifles against the left side of the soldiers' chests. In a study of the German soldiers a significant difference was found between the guards in this unit with gynecomastia and a control group of healthy males without signs of gynecomastia. Over 70 percent of the German battalion's soldiers have been diagnosed with significant gynecomastia on the left side. All that pounding on the same spot has stimulated the production of hormones that cause breast growth. Maybe there is something to slapping your way to larger breasts.


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